New Ninja Facts added periodically..

Why Ninjas are better than Pirates:

Ninja Fact #1:

The classic cartoon G.I.Joe had many battles featuring central Ninja characters (Snake Eyes and Stormshadow). Pirates are not featured at all in the series.

Ninja Fact #2:

There is a book entitled "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Pirates." There is no such publication regarding Ninjas.

Ninja Fact #3:

Becoming a Ninja requires years if not decades of intensive training with multiple martial arts styles. All one needs to become a Pirate is a drunken stagger, a flimsy sword (see 'cutlass'), and a bad case of scurvy.

Ninja Fact #4:

Famed comedian and professional fat guy Chris Farley portrayed a Ninja in his role as "The Beverly Hills Ninja." The actor never expressed any interest in, nor did he ever, portray a Pirate in any of his big screen appearances.

Ninja Fact #5:

The classic Squaresoft RPG Final Fantasy Tactics had many 'Job classes' the player could learn through out the course of the game. Ninjas are not surprisingly one of these job classes. The Ninja job class is the fastest character type in the game, and is the only class able to equip 2 swords at once. Pirates are not featured at all in Final Fantasy Tactics.

Ninja Fact #6:

Ninjas are capable of SLICING anything into 3 halves.

Ninja Fact #7:

Ninjas totally wail on guitar all the time and don't even think twice. If you find yourself walking down the street and all of a sudden you're dead. It's probably a Ninja that did it. Pirates on the other hand just get drunk all the time and pass out. They called in sick to work again today. Big surprise.

Ninja Fact #8:

Hattori Hanzo, a well known Ninja who lived from 1541-1596, was made famous by his appearance in the Ninja influenced films 'Kill Bill vol. 1&2' where he creates a sword made of pure awesome with his bare hands. No Pirate has ever forged a sword intended for Uma Thurman to kill David Carradine.

Ninja Fact #9:

Ninjas invented the I-pod. On hearing of this amazing feat, Steve Jobs (aka Jobby) sent out his flying monkeys to steal the plans. The Ninjas were too busy killing Pirates to notice. To this day Jobby has to pay royalties to the Ninjas so he won't be walking along one day and then not have a head anymore cus some Ninja totally just sliced it off.

Ninja Fact #10:

The aftermath of a Ninja attack is indiscernible from that of a Velociraptor attack. Velociraptors have been referred to by many scientists and paleontologists alike as 'prehistory's original Ninja assassin.'

Ninja Fact #11:

Every instance of the word 'Ninja' on this page is capitalized. The reason for this is simple: ninjas will kill you if you fail to capita

Ninja Fact #12:

Circa 8th century AD Ninjas invented guerilla warfare. Frequently using lightening fast strategic strikes in order to destabilize rival shogunate regions, the Ninjas perfected this new tactic. A thousand years later, the American revolutionaries utilized the same methods against the British ranks. It is in this way that Ninjas created the USA.

Ninja Fact #13:

There is a player class in World of Warcraft known as a 'Rogue.' This class is characterized by stealth, deception, and agility. The word 'Rogue' translated into Japanese becomes 'Shinobi' and as is well known, 'Shinobi' is equivalent to 'Ninja.' World of Warcraft does not allow players to play as a Pirate.

Ninja Fact #14:

Ninjas are capable of fashioning deadly weaponry out of just about any object. Legend has it that one of the Tokugawa Ninjas created a fiery katana from a paperclip, an ordinary drinking straw, and a rubber band. MacGyver was also created by the same Ninja using a candle, a magnifying glass, and some tracing paper cut to the shape of Richard Dean Anderson.